sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Alive.
So much puke
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
