I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
