wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
