dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
