Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
