Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Welp...herpes.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
