God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Randomize
