I'm going to rape someone's good day.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
