miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
