I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize