i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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