I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
