I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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