that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
