Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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