omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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