yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
two words...techno handjob
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize