More tranny stories later!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
