is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
