everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
