I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
