I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
