I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize