Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
