I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
