think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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