we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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