If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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