He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
