Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
