he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
