yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
