TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
