Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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