he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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