I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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