My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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