Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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