i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
did i walk over a car last night?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
