mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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