make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
