hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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