I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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