at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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