I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Acid is not a monday night drug
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
