Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
