Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
