If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize