It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
