when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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