batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
