the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
