doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
