i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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