I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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