its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
