so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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