You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just sent this text using only my big toe
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
