i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
