Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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