Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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