I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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