i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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