??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
