i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
