I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize