that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
