How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
