so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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