You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
